Do you know D?

This time of year is very busy for me.  My youngest just had his birthday last weekend and my second has hers coming soon.  Work is insane at this time of the year, with everything culminating this week for a crazy amount of stress and work.  Add to that the fact that I have near constant interruptions, and my work week was insane.  Last night D came over and spent the night.  It was amazing.  A little less than two weeks after surgery and we made up for lost time.  We also talked and cuddled and laughed and reconnected.  We had so much to talk about, even though it had only been four days.

In December, before I crossed the couch and began this fantastic relationship I have with A, I reopened my OKCupid profile while D was away in Mexico, after I’d broken up with B.  I had actually reopened it just to read the correspondence D and I had, trying to remember how our conversation started and rereading his profile.  I was feeling rather….sentimental, I guess is the word…we were at this lovely point in our relationship where we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other, we always had so much fun, we always had a hard time leaving each other, we missed each other immensely while he was away.  It was probably a necessary process for me to got through to feel the connection that I was missing.  It was the same time where hubby left our date to go be with W.  

So, I met a couple guys during that time, four of whom I chatted with.  One, I went on a date with in December, which was a disaster.  I believe I called him E for this blog.  Another, I lost interest in right away.  The third and fourth were very intriguing to me.  I lost contact with both of them in early February, just before I went to my grandmother’s funeral.  After I came back and everything was so crazy with hubby, I didn’t really think about them. I knew I was in no position to be dating, so I didn’t actually worry about it.  Admittedly, I was quite disappointed about one of them (I just read back and I called him ‘G’, before I called my soul sister ‘G’.  Nothing like confusing the fuck out of you….) and still think of them often, the other I had just begun to get to know, and figured he had lost interest due to my polyamory.  

Last weekend, I got an email from the second, who I’m going to call J.  Of course I responded and we started chatting again.  I told him about some details of my life, including that I had lived abroad in Sweden for several years.  One of the things that connected D and I was that D had lived in Sweden too.  One of the things that led to friend zoning A was that after I told him I lived in Sweden, he said his wife’s best friend and her husband had lived in Sweden, and he is a programmer and has a beard and is a huge nerd…. And I said “Do you mean D and D’s wife?”  Then he said “How do you know them?” and I had to explain that I was talking to D as well.  There was more to that date that made it weird, including me unintentionally exposing a very deep hurt of A’s, but one of the reasons he wanted to step back was because he didn’t want to get in the way of D’s happiness, because the cocky asshole that is A is also very very caring about the people who mean something to him and his family and will give up a lot so they will be happy.

Anyway, immediately after I told J that I had lived in Sweden, we had pretty much the exact same conversation.  Turns out that he’s D’s eldest son’s best friend’s dad.  Seriously.  So that meant I ended up outing him to D and D to him and there was a ton of joking with both A and D about how everyone seems to know D and how weird our life and our tribe and its connections are.  Naturally, D, in his amazing style, ended up meeting J at the park in their area and had a meaningful talk with him and was thrilled with the connection they made.  

A couple days later, I got a pocket dial from J and get a message with laughing and joking about how everyone knows D and how he didn’t know about D and I outed him and so on.  Turns out that his girlfriend’s friend used to work with D and his wife. Again. Seriously.

The next morning, I’m texting with J, and he says that the friend is going to hook him and his girlfriend up with a bdsm master to teach him ropes.  I say “Is his name XYZ?” And he says “Yes, why? Do D and his wife know him as well?”  The answer?  “Yep.  D’s wife and XYZ went to school together and are great friends.

So everyone knows D.  Everyone.  

Apparently there’s an app made in silicon valley that can be used to track poly relationships. I’m going to use it to track how everyone knows D.

Life is crazy weird. Crazy. Awesome. Weird. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.



Author: Polyagony or Polyamory

In August 2016, after 10 years of being "happily" married, my husband and I decided to embark on a life embracing polyamory. This blog is about that adventure. It's a place for me to let out my thoughts and emotions, as we discover the good and the bad of the life we have chosen. Several months later, the path we have chosen has led us down different paths, farther and farther away from each other, but no less of an adventure. If anything interests you, I'd love your comments and feedback. Discussion and differing opinions are always welcome.

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