Blindsided and feeling worthless

I was in the middle of writing a different blog post when I got this:

Screenshot_20170515-214942part 2

My response:Screenshot_20170515-214953

I’m blind sided. I thought we were so good. I am so in love with him.  Yesterday, he introduced me to a friend as his girlfriend. Today he breaks up with me.  I had no idea.  I literally had no idea he was having issues with our relationship.  I thought we were so good. As recently as last Thursday, he stopped in the middle of what we were doing and said “Fuck, I love you so much”.  We spent the whole weekend together. We had fun. It was great.  Fuck me. Fuck. Me. How could I be so unaware that I missed this?  How could I mean so little to him that I get a fucking email?  How can feeling like there’s an issue not be reason to address the fucking issue?  Try to get the root of it?  Sure, feeling like an obligation is a bad thing. I don’t want to feel like an obligation, but certainly don’t think that it’s a reason to break up.  Talk about the things that make it feel like an obligation.  Figure out a way to fix it.  I wasn’t worth enough to him to figure out a way to fix it.  Or even try.  Fuck. Me. How was I so wrong?  I wasn’t worth enough to him.  Wow.  I can’t wrap my head around it.

This was my final text to him:


Fuck I hate making grammatical errors.  ***you’re


Author: Polyagony or Polyamory

In August 2016, after 10 years of being "happily" married, my husband and I decided to embark on a life embracing polyamory. This blog is about that adventure. It's a place for me to let out my thoughts and emotions, as we discover the good and the bad of the life we have chosen. Several months later, the path we have chosen has led us down different paths, farther and farther away from each other, but no less of an adventure. If anything interests you, I'd love your comments and feedback. Discussion and differing opinions are always welcome.

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