My fantastic life

I don’t even know where to start, except to say that life is fucking fantastic!!!  A couple days ago, I had the break up talk with L.  I was a bit nervous going in, not knowing how he would respond.  I just told him that with everything going on in his life and mine, neither of us could possibly get what we want out of our relationship.  He accepted it really well, we talked about it a bit, he shed a tear or two, and then we chatted for a couple hours.  Our break up ended with a not-at-all-chaste kiss.  It was fantastic, actually.  The realization that I finally have had relationships with people who are wonderful in their own right, but also that those relationships were successful, even though they ended, was reassuring.  Reassuring to me in the sense that my life choices are the correct ones for me, and although there are challenges, I’m overwhelmingly happy.

    Last weekend, I turned on OKCupid to take screenshots of profiles to warn A’s wife off of, so she didn’t waste her time with creepy or otherwise undatable men.  I, naturally, took the opportunity to see what was available to me!  I truly love reading the profiles.  It’s like window shopping, but with an interesting insight into what people will say about themselves as they promote themselves.  My OKC profile is loooonnnnggg.  At the end, I say under the “you should message me if” section, I say “If you find a grammar or spelling mistake, because that shit is uncool!”  Shortly after I turned my profile back on, I got a message from a very good looking man with great grammar, who managed to find a typo in my profile. A typo that has likely been there since I first wrote that sentence over a year. I *may* have some opinions about spelling and grammar.  I may also judge men by their lack thereof (Yes, I have cancelled dates with men who I was ambivalent about because their grammar pushed me over the edge) .  So, when I get a message from a man who catches a nearly imperceptible mistake, I know he’s a man worth talking to.  I couldn’t have been more correct!  It was obvious from the first couple of messages that I was going to want to date this man who will hereafter be referred to as “O”.

    O and I went on our first date to a coffee shop I hadn’t been to before.  The connection was obvious to each of us online and the day before we were talking about various expectations, and he said something about anticipating a kiss at the end of the date.  I, being the problem solver I am, said “Here’s an idea!  We can start the date with a kiss instead!”  I walked into the coffee shop, admittedly unusually nervous for me, and still didn’t know if I was actually going to start the date with a kiss or not. When I walked up the stairs to where he was seated, and I moved in to hug him, I just decided to go for it, because I already knew I wanted to.  What a way to start a date!  It was perfect.

    The date was spectacular.  We chatted and laughed and held hands and the connection was incredible.  I was thrilled when the friend I was supposed to meet later in the evening cancelled, so I could stay out with him.  Before the date was half over, we had two more dates planned.  I haven’t felt this type of connection since the beginning with D.  It’s entirely possible it’s stronger.  

    Apart from the fact that O is very easy on the eyes, he really is the full package.  He’s educated, but more importantly, he’s extremely intelligent.  He’s is so incredibly interesting to talk to.  He’s had a wealth of cool life experiences, he is clearly a critical thinker, and he is just captivating to listen to.  He’s confident and funny too.  I was telling A earlier in the week that I’d met a guy who was full of potential, I said: “He’s bald, has a beard (my type!), is educated, and has a Fetlife profile.”  A’s response?  “Wow! The trifecta.  Don’t fuck it up, you need another boyfriend.”

    A couple days later, I went to his house during the day for “wine”.  Neither of us were under any illusion that wine would be the focus, and I am happy to report that it wasn’t.  If the first time and the second time are any sign, we’re going to have a very fun sex life moving forward.  

    I’m consumed by NRE.  I feel like a teenage girl with a crush on the cutest guy in class.  Perhaps it’s lack of blood flow to my brain, but I’m completely dumb when I’m with him.  He has the weirdest effect on me, I just talk and talk.  Granted, I’m a talker at the best of times, but it’s a little embarrassing.  Fortunately, every indication is that he feels the same way, so we are extremely intelligent people struck dumb by each other.  It’s kind of awesome.

    We have another date today and another planned during the week.  I’m ridiculously excited and slightly overwhelmed by this development.  Nothing like ending two relationships and starting a new one in a matter of three days!  This is my fantastic life.

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Author: Polyagony or Polyamory

In August 2016, after 10 years of being "happily" married, my husband and I decided to embark on a life embracing polyamory. This blog is about that adventure. It's a place for me to let out my thoughts and emotions, as we discover the good and the bad of the life we have chosen. Several months later, the path we have chosen has led us down different paths, farther and farther away from each other, but no less of an adventure. If anything interests you, I'd love your comments and feedback. Discussion and differing opinions are always welcome.

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