This morning, I woke up heartbroken and hurting still.  Luckily for me, O decided to message me with a thinly veiled ultimatum about how if I was happier to be with him I should be with him and how if I was happier now, I shouldn’t. What followed was a lot of “my ex-wife thinks X” and “my other partner thinks Y” to justify asking me to ask his permission to use our communications on my blog.  Respecting boundaries that he established was the name of that game and it would be appropriate if the irony wasn’t so bitter to swallow.  It made me angry.  Really fucking angry.  Instead of owning his shit, he was holding on to random things he thought I did wrong, minor slights really.  I guess it’s easier to mourn the loss of a relationship when you don’t have to admit it was all your fault.  Fortunately, anger is so much easier to process than heartbreak.

So, I asked him to just remember the relationship for what it was and leave it there.  I got a rather sweet, if slightly passive aggressive and guilt-trippy, response and left it there.

Then I got an email from his EX-WIFE.  About my blog. Not to my blog email, but to my PERSONAL FUCKING EMAIL.  She introduced herself.  Stated that she didn’t give me permission to publish stuff about her marriage breakdown.  (I use letters instead of names specifically for the anonymity of everyone involved.)  She figures someone with “average internet sleuthing skills” could figure out who is involved.  Oh, and she used the guilt trip about her child or a friend of her child’s finding out.

So I responded to her not to contact me again. And I messaged O about how I was done. And then I blocked them both on gmail, and O on every other platform we are connected on.  

I’ve been asked to censor my blog to protect people who aren’t even identified.  I have 70 followers, it’s not like many people read this blog.  I feel threatened and violated and am disgusted by the blatant attempt at manipulation.

Ugh. This is all so messy.  Talk about a bullet dodged.  


Author: Polyagony or Polyamory

In August 2016, after 10 years of being "happily" married, my husband and I decided to embark on a life embracing polyamory. This blog is about that adventure. It's a place for me to let out my thoughts and emotions, as we discover the good and the bad of the life we have chosen. Several months later, the path we have chosen has led us down different paths, farther and farther away from each other, but no less of an adventure. If anything interests you, I'd love your comments and feedback. Discussion and differing opinions are always welcome.

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