I just got back from a weekend away with A. It was amazing in the way that only time alone with someone you love can be. We were alone together where we watched TV for hours in silence, where I sat on a balcony and listened to my audiobook for an hour in the morning sun while he slept, where we showered 2-3 times a day together in the most amazing steam shower, and where we had more sex in three days that we usually have in three months. Where we got to wake up next to each other and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Where we were able to extend a kinky scene over days instead of just a few hours. That is is exactly what we, or rather, he, did.
Our first night, we both needed the connection of the previous week apart had been, so it was a pretty standard Friday date night. We had dinner and drinks and hours chatting. Then amazing sex that was everything I, and I think, he, needed. The next morning, he laid out a bit of his plan. That in the morning, he would go easy on me, let me orgasm, but then after that, the control was going to begin. We had amazing morning sex and a fantastic steam shower, and then sat on the deck of our suite, I had a bath in our jet tub, we day drank, and then we watched TV for hours. I had asked for some extended orgasm control and more impact play than usual, and he over-delivered in so many ways. He tied me to the bed and fucked my throat. He beat my ass with the OH SO bitey cane, flogged me with our amazing new Irish knot, and all the other different flogging implements we have. My ass was red, with distinct marks that were OH SO pretty. My boobs were bruised from being bitten and flogged and bitten some more. It was so hot. He fucked me, but didn’t let me cum. He edged me with the hitachi. He had me begging for orgasm. He denied me. I tried to finish him with my mouth, but alas, he stopped me after a while and said it wouldn’t happen. We had another steam shower, we cuddled on the couch and watched silly TV shows while he edged me for hours. Literally, hours. Hitachi to my clit, dildos inside me, and me shaking I was so near orgasm and him stopping at the crucial moment. Over and over and over.
We went for supper and returned to our room and we returned to our couch position. He returned to edging me, promising me an orgasm when we went to bed for the night. All of a sudden, I realized he was falling asleep. (As the hitachi made it’s way from my clit to my inner thigh….) He asked me to wake him up an hour later, “then he would be drunk still but not so tired”. I laughed, said he wouldn’t wake up and he was passed out about 10 seconds later. I had another bath in the whirlpool, chatted online with S and some men on OKC, and then took some silly selfies with a passed out A and went to sleep too. I was ridiculously turned on, so sleeping wasn’t that easy. The next morning, I sat on the balcony and listened to my audiobook after setting him up with coffee, advil, and water at his bedside. I came in and found him awake, so teased him about my unmet needs. What followed was the most amazing sex, where he edged me perfectly. To the point where I was shaking and begging and near tears because I was so close but he just wouldn’t let me pass the precipice. Not to mention that the cane, crop, and other floggers all came out and I was already “enjoying” the intense pain and sensation that was the combination of endorphins, adrenaline, and complete submission of myself and my body to his desires. Then he did something I didn’t know he had the ability to do and made his control of me and that much hotter. He managed to continue to fuck me and cum without me having and orgasm. This is not something that is easy, preventing me from having an orgasm. At least he was human and told me it was difficult to do.
We went for breakfast, where we laughed because sitting was hard for me to do, and my nipples hurt just sitting still, and I was still swollen and aching (ACHING!!!!) with need. He was his smug, sexy self, which didn’t help my desire dampen. After breakfast, we returned to our room and turned on silly TV. I complained about my unmet needs and the next thing I knew, I was being edged again, for hours. Eventually he flogged me with all the implements while I lay on the couch, and he bent me over the edge of the couch and flogged me more. I was on the verge of crying again, when he let up on me. Eventually, I ended up tied up, wrists to ankles with little slack, and then the real control began. He flogged me, brought out the violet wand, and the Hitachi. He had me begging, near tears, and so full of adrenaline and endorphins that I found myself lost. I was completely lost in subspace. I was probably only capable of brain stem function. Subspace is the most amazing thing for me. I stop thinking about anything. My brain is only aware of the intense sensations I’m feeling. Talk to me and I’m delayed in responding and hardly can word. As I was completely engulfed in subspace, A climbed on top of me and put his cock in my mouth. This is not normally a thing that requires thinking from me, but as he did, I found my nose covered by his balls. I found myself suddenly panicked that I couldn’t breathe. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that I just needed to tip my head back slightly to uncover my nose. Immediately, my brain was off. I was engulfed by the sensation of that amazing cock in my mouth and the hitachi on my clit. Of him biting my abdomen and thrusting into my mouth. In fact, I have to really focus to even remember the details, because the sensation was so overwhelming. Then he fucked me. He fucked me hard and edged me until I begged. Then he let me orgasm. He untied me and gave me my “freedom”, and then let go. I came and came and came and came. I came so hard he shushed me because I was so loud and then I came again. I destroyed the sheets with my many orgasms. I asked him to cum, but he had spent so much time pleasing me that he couldn’t. I collapsed. He turned on the shower for me and after an indeterminate time in bed, I headed into the shower under his direction, alone, with the promise he would join me.
To say I was overwhelmed, both during and afterwards, is an understatement. I was so far away from myself that I was, if I’m honest, scared. I was trembling and relieved and so very happy and so very scared about how much power I gave away to A. During that whole time, I was completely his. To do with what he wanted. Had he asked me to fight back, I’m not sure I could have. I was relieved and thankful and deeply in love with the man who took that power and used it so responsibly. Who took me so close to the edge but knew exactly how to read me and change directions or slow down or increase things to push my limits or maintain them.
As I stood in the shower, I was near tears and confused as to why. I’m not exactly free with tears at the best of times, and certainly not after mind-blowing orgasms given to me by someone I love deeply. When A joined me, I hugged him tightly and he asked if I was ‘back’ yet. I wasn’t. I couldn’t think, I wasn’t ‘myself’, I was still submissive and needing of protection and love and care that I am not normally demanding of. A is good at reading me. He asked me several more times if I was ‘back’ yet, and each time, with some confusion, I said ‘no’. I was shocked it took me so long to come back. We cuddled and he held me and I slowly, oh so achingly slowly, made my way to the surface. We finally left our hotel room, two days into our weekend away, and about halfway to our tourist destination, I realized I was as ‘me’ as I could be.
As we drove, I was trying to figure out what I needed when we returned to the nakedness that was the mainstay of our hotel room stay. I had decided that EITHER I needed for him to take me completely over the edge and to flog me to the point where I actually cried and let it all out OR for our connection to be about as vanilla as we get, which, by most people’s definition is not vanilla. As I stewed on when to talk to him about it, I became more and more relaxed. The energy completely drained from me. It’s impossible to describe how it felt to be completely comfortable, completely loved, and completely happy with exactly where I was in the moment. I don’t want to say things full of hyperbole, but the fact is, I haven’t been as relaxed and content as I was on Sunday for as long as I remember. It’s probably been over 15 years, but it makes me sad to try to figure that out. In a first, I fell asleep, completely cuddled up to A, feeling completely safe and happy with the perfection that had been our weekend to that point. At some point, I moved to the bed while he finished our movie, and when he came to bed, I realized that I needed him to not push me at all. I wasn’t ready to be pushed to the point of tears, for him to take me there, or see me breaking down. I needed him to connect with me and be with me and I needed it to be everything that means everything to US. That was exactly what it was. It was hard and intense and full of connection and perfection, but there was no power exchange and no submission. It was us, loving each other, in the most basic way. It was perfection.
The next morning, we were back to us. He edged me, told me I wouldn’t orgasm until after breakfast, and then forced me to orgasm until I tapped out before breakfast. As we got ready for breakfast to arrive, I was anticipating our next sexual episode. In the weirdest turn of events, we never got to have sex that morning, because instead, he got the ugly cry that I had decided he didn’t need to give me the day before, because as breakfast arrived, I found out that my dad died and the shock hit me like a ton of bricks. A was amazing. He was the strong arms that held me tightly and made me feel loved and the loving shoulder to cry on, as I realized my dad had died and all the consequences of that fact. He was perfect. He cracked inappropriate jokes and made me laugh instead of cry. Then he held me as I cried. He held my hand, stroked my hair, and held me so tight as we navigated through it all together. A real Dom is exactly what you need in the moment.